Help me Lord!

Today I prayed for patience, guidance and wisdom.  These characteristics are usually always included in my prayers, but tonight they meant something different.  Tonight I really doubted my status of “good mom.”  I don’t know that I have ever had this feeling before.  I am being honest with myself by admitting that I just don’t know what’s right anymore.  I seem to doubt myself more and more these days, and not just when it comes to raising my son, but about so many things.    

This dreadful thought came to me after my son threw a remote control at my little cousin because she hit him.  Mind you, he is older and bigger than she is.  But, for some reason she can get him so angry that he lashes out with tears and scream most times she’s around.  Earlier this week, he kicked a kid at school because he took his pencil.  All I could think about after witnessing his angry behavior was how I could have raised such an unhappy, angry child.  Here I’ve been thinking that I’m doing it right…so much that I often offer advice to others on how to raise their children.   

Today I was reminded that motherhood is a daily learning process.  You don’t ever master this job. You can be good at it today, and suck at it tomorrow.  In order to be a good mother, you must have patience because they will make you mad.  I don’t ever want to be as mad and disappointed in my son as I was today.  Mothers also need spiritual guidance because we need to stay honest and grounded in what’s right when it comes to our children; we can’t always choose their side just because they belong to us and we love them so much.  They need us to love them enough to call them out every now and then.  We also need wisdom to know when and how to discipline.  And, we need to know how to stand our ground when the tough gets going.  We need to hold our kids and ourselves accountable for their behavior.  I love my son so much and I refuse to let him grow up an angry person.  I am going to work with him until he learns a better way to deal with unpleasant situations.

Feeling Inspired

I won’t say I’m back.  I am, but I do that every year or so when I am inspired to write something.  Maybe I shouldnt say inspired because I am always inspired.  It’s more about having the time to move my thoughts online.

I am at MOM 2.0, which is a conference for women who are trying to promote their brand or learn from women who are doing what they want to do. It’s kind of cool, but maybe for unusual reasons for me. 

We watched a video that inspired me to be a better mom.  Its called MOM 2.0: Defining a Movement!  It mentioned the job as motherhood as a storytelling process.  I am helping my son tell his life story.  It’s a very interesting concept for me, but its so true.  They start a story kind of impacts the rest.  I pray every night that I am giving my son a good beginning for a woderful story.

Time sure flies!

I was just announcing my pregnancy last week, and just yesterday I was wiping the tears away after leaving my baby at daycare for the first time, and today I realize my son is no longer afraid of getting spankings. I’m afraid tomorrow I will be watching him walk down the isle to begin a new life where another woman will be responsible for taking care of him!

Time is moving so fast. I don’t think there is enough time to actually enjoy it all! This is probably the worst part about being a single mom. The life of a single mother is all about sacrifice. And, not just the typical “sacrifice” single mothers usually complain about. Not like doing it on one income is easy, but there are so many other sacrifices that are just as – if not more – important.

I am making a new commitment to welcome the opportunity to answering a million questions from why do we have ten toes and fingers, to why most men are taller and stronger than women, to what does “intriguing” mean. And, I will wear a smile on my face while I continue to run myself ragged while trying to make sure my son is developing academically, culturally, spiritually and socially. Every moment that I get the opportunity to watch and experience something so small and fragile grow into something strong and wonderful is totally worth sacrificing good sleep, a night out with the girls, or even a quiet night alone with a good glass of wine and a great romance film.

I only have a few more years before I am begging him for a little time and attention, so I promise to cherish every moment of washing crayons off the wall, cleaning mud off the floor and grabbing him by the collar each time the teacher or anyone else complains about him acting up.  When tomorrow gets here, today will be long gone!

Getting started…

….. one of the hardest things to do.  It doesn’t matter what the task, taking the first step seems to always be the most difficult.  With that being said, I’ll start by introducing myself.

I am a single mother of one handsome little seven-year old boy, and I like to think that I encompass all the traits and characteristics of a truly happy and joyful single mamma. I try to take care in delivering the right message as it relates to my acceptance and willingness to embrace my single motherhood. As I’m sure other joyful single mammas will agree – it doesn’t matter if you are a single mother by chance or choice, you are a single mom and should learn to make the best of it.  

In my journey of being a single mom, I have had the opportunity of going from being dependent to independent, from worried to optimistic, from weak to strong, and finally from comfortable to eager. It’s this eagerness and strong desire to want and expect more that has set the stage and motivation for this new SingleMotherJoy Weblog!